


how can you be so selfish, to have forgotten old love?

by fadingdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, bollywood movie style, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 08:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadingdreams/pseuds/fadingdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn’t say it, he just couldn’t. As much as he loved Harry, Harry loved his dreams more. It was difficult, but Louis was comforted by the fact that he was taking home a suitcase of memories to keep, ones that he would never forget. The days, the nights, the laughter, the mischief, the friendship and Harry. The boy who chased his dreams so hard, that he had disappeared within the blink of an eye. Eight years went by, and he never looked back, and Louis didn’t wait for him to.</p><p>OR</p><p>basically one direction in the plot of a bollywood film.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how can you be so selfish, to have forgotten old love?

 

A snowflake, a backpack, a bottle of whisky. Sometimes, these small things open doors in your memories and the emotions that flood out overwhelm you, rendering you speechless. Memories are such a strange thing. They live in their own universe, buried in the depths of your thoughts. The more you try to forget them, the more you remember them. You can never really leave them behind. The world of the past is beautiful, but eerie and uncomfortable. Nobody truly knows what to make of it. But in all honesty, there’s not much you can make of it. All one can do is keep living. No matter how painful or how hard your memories are, living is the only way to truly come alive again.

-

Louis threw a carton of milk into the shopping cart that his mum was pushing. Her words were like a faint buzz in his uninterested ears, as she babbled on about the church group that she was part of and the girls that she had tea with on Saturdays.

He pushed his glasses up tiredly and pulled some more things off the shelf for himself, coffee for one. He hated the concoction but it was the only thing that kept him awake when he studied into the night as he usually did considering the profession he had chosen. Or the one that had been chosen for him. He really didn’t see the difference anymore.  Louis had been living like this for so long; he didn’t seem to know any other way.

A loud Irish tone startled him out of his thoughts, “Louis? That you?”

Louis turned around to see a blonde haired boy gaping at him, “Yeah, hey Niall, how’ve you been?” Louis said weakly, talking wasn’t really his forte.

“Good bro, what about you? Hello Ms.Tomlinson, how are you?”

Louis’ mother put on a strained smile, eyeing down Niall’s baggy shirt and torn jeans disapprovingly, but Niall didn’t seem to notice, smiling and chattering happily.

“So what are you doing Louis, university, I last heard?”

“Oh nothing much,” Louis sighed, story of his life.

“What do you mean ‘nothing much’ Lou?” Jay retorted, eager to be included in the conversation now. “He’s studying _medicine_.” She directed towards Niall. “Doing so well too, better than his whole batch!”

“Well that hasn’t changed then,” Niall chuckled warmly, clapping Louis on the back. “I remember in school, we’d all be eating the dust and Louis far ahead.”

“What are you studying Niall?” Jay asked, hint of spite in her voice.

“Oh studying has never really been my thing, I’m doing music courses and just winging it really. Thank god the holidays start soon.”

“Doing anything interesting?” Louis asked, desperate to steer the conversation away from his mother.

“Oh yeah, going to Switzerland for a mountain trek, the Alps.”

“With family?” Jay interjected.

“Mom,” Louis muttered.

“Oh no, with friends.” Niall grinned. “Well I have to go. See you around Louis! Take it easy Jay!”

Niall sauntered off, leaving Louis red and embarrassed and Jay screwing her nose up in disgust.

-

Louis stabbed at the chicken on his plate tiredly, ignoring his sisters running around the table crazily.  “That friend of yours, what a strange boy he was. Such baggy and torn clothes, those huge headphones round his neck. I’m telling you right now, he has no future at all.”

Louis dropped his fork in distaste. “Mother, for one, he’s not even my friend, and second, not everyone has the same priorities.” He muttered dejectedly, “not everyone wants to be a doctor.”

Jay chuckled. “At that rate, nobody would make him a cashier.”

“At least he’s enjoying his life.”

“People, who enjoy life too much, end up in misery.”

“What difference does it make,” Louis mumbled, food on his plate looking unappetizing, “I’m already as miserable as I can get.”

“Well at least eat your dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“What had gotten into you Louis?” Jay said angrily.

“I’m frustrated mom! I’m frustrated with my bloody, boring life!” Louis yelled. “Niall is going on holiday with his friends; I can’t even give myself a holiday on Sundays because that’s how much I study! And all you ever do is criticize me and everyone around me, when will it stop?”

Jay looked bewildered at the outburst of her son, and the kitchen was silent. The girls had crept out, sensing the air of tension. “I don’t understand love, do you want a holiday?”

Louis groaned and pushed his chair away from the table, stalking off to his room.

-

Harry pushed open the door tiredly, legs aching from the long night he had had. The sound of music still rang in his ears, but his head was clear and not under the influence of alcohol which was kind of rare.

He flicked on the light and squinted in the brightness at a shadow sitting in the rocking chair. “Mum?”

Anne looked around sleepily and smiled, “there’s food in the microwave.”

Harry grinned and walked straight over, realizing the rumbling in his stomach. “Why haven’t you slept yet?”

“I was reading.”

“In the dark?” Harry asked critically. “Why are you lying to me?”

“If I sleep, when will ever I see your face love?” Anne asked humorously. “As it is, you’re off to Switzerland tomorrow, to climb some bloody mountain. It isn’t even safe Harry.”

Harry ran a hand through his curls, and sighed. “I’ll be fine mum.”

“Your mum’s right Harry.” Another voice said from the corner. “Anything could happen.” Robin put a glass of lemonade at Harry’s side.  “You’re making a habit out of doing these crazy things.

“Crazy for you, not for me.” Harry took a sip of the lemonade and grimaced. “This is horrid.”

“Harry, you know we’re not as well off as many of your friends. Save the money you have, it will come of use to you –“

“I’m going with my own savings.” Harry interrupted with finality in his voice. “And as much as I respect you Robin, you aren’t my father, so stay out of this. Goodnight.”

-

Louis’ fingers ran over the keyboard as he drank in the pictures thirstily. Snow white peaks, bright green views, it looked like heaven.

And Louis wanted it. He wanted it so bad. To get out of the world where he was stuck. Where he was so directed, he didn’t have the freedom to look left and right.

He was tired of a small town life. He wanted lights and glamour and the wind on his skin.

Adventure.

-

The bag was rough and sturdy, and new. Sleeping bag attached to the top, ready to be used. “Is the color okay?” Anne’s voice sounded from the corner of the room, but Harry was still frowning.

“Why do you always have to criticize me on what I want to do? This is my life. And I want to live it on my terms mum. Mine.”

“That’s why we worry about you love. We care, that’s all. When you become a father –“

“I don’t want to be a father.” Harry whined, and Anne laughed, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. “But you will someday. And then you’ll understand what it means.”

There was silence for a few minutes when Anne spoke softly again. “Is it so important for you to do this?”

“Very.” Harry answered honestly. “Thank you for the bag. It’s perfect.”

Anne smiled warmly, “just take care of yourself Harry.”

-

“Good god, what the fuck are you doing, _pass the fucking ball to him –_ oh god get _off_ me Niall.”

Niall clung even tighter to the dark skinned boy who was swearing at the football match on the television in the train station. “How can I baby, you look so hot when you’re angry.”

Zayn scoffed and shoved the blonde boy off, “Seriously Niall, there’s a lot of tension running through the match.”

“Oh yes.” Niall retorted. “So much that you didn’t remember to pick me up, you dick.”

“Why should I pick you up? You aren’t a child; nobody’s going to kidnap you!”

“Yeah yeah, heard it all before.” Niall rolled his eyes, tugging at Zayn’s arm. “C’mon now, we’ll miss the train.”

“I’m not coming on this stupid trek, I can’t miss this league bro, and something huge is going to happen.”

“What?” Niall shrieked.

“Oh yeah,” said Harry from behind them as the opposing team shot a goal against Manchester United. “Looks like they really need your help. C’mon Nialler let’s leave.”

“What, you’re really leaving me?” Zayn pouted.

“Yes, you don’t want to come,” Harry pointed out. “And you bet all your money on this match.”

“How do you know that?” Zayn speculated and Harry rolled his eyes.

“You idiot, I know you better than you know yourself. Now shut this drama down and let’s go, I can finally put my savings to use.”

“No man,” Zayn said, that’s your hard eared cash. You should save it.”

“Money is nothing, it was made to blow up, not save. And we’re all going on this trip, so I think we should all just get this party started.” Harry laughed, putting an arm around Zayn’s shoulder and another around Niall’s pushing them all towards the train in a tow. “Switzerland won’t know what hit it.”

-

“Excuse me?” Louis said, tapping the instructor on the shoulder, “I know I’m late but –you aren’t the instructor.”

Harry grinned cheekily, “no I’m not, but I know who you are. Tyler right? We met at Shania’s party?”

“Um, No, sorry. Louis. Louis Tomlinson?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and clicked his fingers, as if impatient with his own memory; he shut his camera and spoke, “Maria’s cousin.”

“Yorkshire High School, same batch.” Louis said, pursing his lips.

“Oh riiiiiiiiight. _Louis_ , how could I ever forget those glasses?” Harry smiled, engulfing Louis in a large hug, “it’s been a really long time Lou, and how have you been?” he asked looking Louis up and down, trying to forget the fact that he smelled really nice.

“Right now I’m really late, have you seen the instructor?”

“The instructor –“, Harry said looking around and then stopped. “Wait, you’re coming with us?”

“Yup.” Louis said.

“You do know,” Harry started suspiciously, “that you’d have to climb a mountain?”

“So?”

“Sleep in tents, there could be bears.” Harry taunted.

“I know what a trek is.”

The train horns blared behind them and Harry’s dimples peeked out. “C’mon then scholar Lou, you can bunk with us.”

“Okay,” Louis said, “But my bags.” He protested as Harry got into the train. His curly head popped back out as he looked at the blue eyed boy.

“I’m not a porter love, ask nicely.”

“Harold. Please help me.”

Harry hopped out happily and grabbed two of Louis’ bags, slinging them over his back effortlessly. As he bent down for the third he put his face so close to Louis’ that one lurch forward and they’d be kissing.

“It’s Harry. Harold just makes me cringe.” He said, jumping onto the train and putting the bags into the over head compartments. The train horn blared a warning when Harry realized that Louis wasn’t behind him. He looked out the door again at Louis on the railway and stared confusedly.

“What, do I have to carry you as well now?”

Louis just stared at Harry, rooted to the spot with fear. His feet wouldn’t move and his hands were clutched tightly around the thick biology textbook in his arms.

“Oi, four eyes, what are you calculating down there?” Harry said in a panic as the train lurched forward.

The train began to pick up speed and Louis was getting farther and farther away from Harry. The curly hair boy groaned and jumped off the train, running towards Louis in speedily, he clutched the older boy’s shoulders and said quickly. “Come _on_ Lou, a change of scenery will help you study!” he teased.

“I’ve never been out of this town alone.”

“Well you’re not alone!” Harry yelled crazily. “It’ll be fun, c’mon, live a little.”

He grabbed Louis hand and the two of them took off, running towards the doorway together. Harry jumped onto the open train doors and held his palm out for Louis to take, and he did, losing his balance and falling onto Harry the minute he entered the train.

“Bet you they didn’t tell how to do that in the textbook huh?” Harry joked, pulling Louis behind him and into the booth.

“Louis?” Niall asked in surprise. “You aren’t following me right.”

“Don’t bother with him.” Zayn retorted, “It’s his dream to have blokes follow him everywhere – _Ow_ ”

-

Louis shut his books and pushed the window open to allow in the light, he smiled at the sun and turned to see winking and putting a finger to his lips. He poked Niall in the side, trying to rouse him from his snoring.

“C’mon you shit; we’re in Switzerland stop deafening me with your snores.”

Niall pushed Harry’s hand away and groaned something that sounded like ‘curly haired twat.’

Harry jumped over Niall and began to stroke his face, “It’s time to get up, in the morning. Got McDonalds breakfast for you.”

Zayn snuck his head around the door to see what was going on and smiled, “We drove to miles to get it, so you better get up and eat it.”

Louis chuckled without realizing it as the harmonized, “don’t be such a selfish boy, SO WE GOTTA GET UP, GET UP. WE GOTTA GET UP.”

“Time to get up!” Niall said through his laughs, allowing Zayn to carry him out of the room. Harry walked out behind his best friends, then stopped and turned to Louis, “C’mon then.” He winked.

-

Switzerland was beautiful, the morning was crisp and cold, and all the trekkers had a day to rest up before the big journey.

Louis pressed his hand to his forehead and then the small cross around his neck, completing his prayer. A beautiful bride in a white gown walked up the church stairs demurely smiling. The sight made Louis warm and happy.

“She’s smiling today,” Said Harry softly in Louis’ ear, making him jump, “but just you wait, in two years time she’ll be chasing him around the same church with a gun, bride becomes bridezilla.” Harry smirked, shooting at Louis with finger guns.

“Don’t listen to Harry; he has an allergy to marriage.” Niall hollered from across the street.

“But of course!” Harry replied, slinging an arm around Louis’ shoulders. “I mean, it’s the same with food. If you were made to eat boiled vegetables all your life would you?”

“Um –“

“Exactly, marriage is like boiled vegetables for fifty years, better not to get into it at all.”

“But what if you want kids?” Louis asked.

“You don’t need marriage to make those,” Harry winked slyly. Louis made a disgusted face and slid out from Harry’ arm immediately.

“Oh shut _up_ Harry.” Niall reprimanded.

-

“What _do_ you keep praying for Louis?” Harry asked, putting his head round Louis’ shoulder. The blue eyed boy just looked at Harry disapprovingly and continued to pray.

“Well, if you’re going to pray, I’ve got a list as well. A private jet, a penthouse in New York, and two Spanish girlfriends.” Harry sighed. “If they were twins it would be best.”

Louis shoved Harry, disgusted as the green eyed boy laughed “Grow up Harry.”

-

Zayn stumbled drunkenly over the path to the food stalls, accidentally bumping into a few people. As he reached Niall he heard a voice behind him. “Yo. Why did ya touch me?”

“What?” Zayn asked dumbly.

“Why. Did.You.Touch me.” Said an older blonde woman, looking disgusted.

“Lady, have you seen your face?” Zayn chuckled. “I didn’t touch you.”

“Zayn.” Niall warned.

“You’re a bloody cheapo faggot, go back to where you fucking came from.”

Niall sparked at the insult and stood in front of Zayn immediately. “Who are _you_ calling names? C’mon get out of here.”

“Is there a problem here?” said a large man spitefully, sliding his arm around the blonde woman. She whispered something to him and he looked at the two boys, eyes blazing. “How dare you.” He sneered, lunging forward and landing a blow on Zayn’s face. He leaned in to land another. But he was prevented by someone yanking him backwards from the scruff of his neck. Harry raised his fist and struck a blow holding the man to prevent him from collapsing.

“Learn to keep your cool next time eh?” He said cheerfully, “now apologize.”

“Sorry.” The man spat out as Harry smiled and pushed him along his way.

“Jesus Zayn. You can’t go one day without getting beaten up.” Harry chuckled checking his face over.

“Um Harry.” Louis said nervously behind him, he pointed to the guy who had walked over to some more of his friends and had directed them towards Harry. “We should probably do something about that.”

“Ah.”

“C’mon then,” Niall shouted in their direction. “You think we’re scared of you? I’ll break your fucking face.”

Harry and Zayn stood behind Niall nervously, and Harry spoke, “Niall we should –“

“Beat them up? Yes that is the plan.” Niall yelled happily.

“One Harry said, preparing his feet as the men came closer.

“Two,” Zayn held up on his fingers.

“Three.” Screamed Niall, running towards the men as Zayn and Harry took off in the other direction behind him.

Zayn skidded back to grab Niall and pull him away as Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled, “Run doctor, run!”

They ran crazily down the road, cold wind whipping through their hair as the laughed like crazy people, cackling insanely.

They ran until they could see their hotel, and slowed to a stop; Harry put his hands on his knees and wheezed.  “Damn it Niall!”

“What?” Gasped Niall out of breath, “We could have smashed them.”

“Did you even see the size of those guys?” Louis said, leaning back to catch his breath.

“That rhymed.” Zayn noted. They turned to look at the dark skinned boy and began laughing crazily. Out of control, insanity taking over.

The stars twinkled in the night sky, and they danced at the stupidity of youth, the moon boomed in laughter, what an amazing thing to be young and beautiful. To be invincible to and to be vulnerable. To climb mountains only to jump, to fly only to fall, to let love in only to let it slip, and letting the past hold heavy at your heart, but still living life with energy  and with strength. For when age hits you, the heart becomes weaker, and holds on tighter, with expectations and goals to push for. Your bones become brittle and easily broken, refusing to bend to the will of the wind.

They will understand, and they will learn. Youth is short lived.

-

“Alright trekkers, we start our trip here.” Said the instructor. “I was thinking to make this more interesting, we should make teams and race to the campsite. Whoever loses has to pitch the tent and make dinner, and whoever wins gets to relax. Now who wants to be team leader?”

Harry and Zayn’ hand immediately shot up as they looked at each other evilly, “Okay then boys, let’s start.

-

“Hey sweetheart, how’s that ankle of yours?” Harry murmured, leaning against the blonde girl, knuckles brushing at her legs.

“Not bad, you may have to carry me though.” She purred, fluttering her eyelashes and flirting back just as shamelessly.

“Well, I’m sure we can arrange that –“’

“Harry, who is that?”

Harry turned around and held his binoculars up, looking through the forestry, only to see Louis sneakily climbing higher into the snow.

“Be right back babe,” Harry said, taking off into the woods behind Louis as the girl he was with gave out an offended huff.

Harry ran until he had somewhat caught up to Louis, “Louis,” he said, out of breath, “Please let me win this race.” He whined

Louis laughed and walked faster, “and why should I do that? Anyway have you seen the state you’re in? I can beat you easily!”

Harry jogged faster until he was walking at Louis’ side, “Louis, you came first all the time in school too, at least let me win here, it’s a question of my pride.”

Louis scoffed, “well it’s your fault, if you keep going around with bimbos you’ll never win anything.”

“That’s called flirting, it’s good for your health,” Harry said trying to pull at Louis’ shirt, “y’know like yoga.”

“Are you here to climb mountains or birds?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Harry said managing to grab the handle of Louis’ rucksack. “We’re both at the same place, so let’s just rest okay. Just sit for two minutes.”

Louis stared suspiciously and pulled his bag out of Harry’s grip, and they both sat down slowly. “I know Lou, you’re right. Maybe the girls I flirt with are kind of stupid, but they’ll have to do. I can’t flirt with guys like you.”

“Guys like me?”

“Yeah, guys like you weren’t made for hit and run, and pointless flirting. You’re meant for love, and love just isn’t my thing.”

Louis stared at Harry’s eyes, twinkling like emeralds in the sunlight. “You –“

“Yeah well, in case you haven’t noticed I’m not exactly straight.” Harry breathed. He winked at Louis and got off the rock where they had been sitting. As he walked away, Louis tried to shake off his daze and get off the rock, but as he made to walk he fell flat on his face. Legs tied to the rock with tightly bound rope.

“Harry!” he screamed angrily. “Harry, come back here right now!” but the green eyed boy just laughed loudly and continued walking. “Harry you cheat!”

“You should try losing sometimes Louis, it’s a magic of its own.”

“I’ll tell the instructor about this.” Louis warned.

“This isn’t fourth grade Lou!”

Louis groaned and flung some grass in his direction angrily.

-

Louis knocked the nail deep into the ground, securing the last tent. He sighed, looking at Harry’s silhouette in front of the fire. The light ignited the curls and illuminated his lean body. It looked like he was on flames but yet unburnt. Louis felt like he was burning though.

Every one sat on the grass around the bonfire, laughing and chattering away as the flames rose higher giving off sparks that fueled the happy vibe that surrounded the camp. So high up, with no use of the outside world, in their own little bubble, it was beautiful.

“Okay you guys, there’s a bunch a German campers setting up a few minutes from here, how about we go and show them a nice party?” Harry yelled happily to all the campers.

“German girls?” Zayn asked hopefully.

“Smoking.”

“Then what are we doing _here_? Let’s go!”

Everyone stood up, glad to go along with any crazy plans that they had come up with. Hand in hand with new friends, old friends the noise disappeared along with the campers.

But Louis was not present with them, because, well because, he couldn’t go. Louis sighed and opened his textbook in front of the fire alone, beginning to immerse himself in the complicated words and phrases as he had always done.

-

Louis heard a faint sound in the distance and picked up his torch quietly, he shone it around the campsite, and it landed on a lean body with his back to Louis and – _oh_.  He quickly turned it off and went back to his book when a smug voice spoke to him.

“When you hear strange sounds in the forest, never turn to look, you never know what you might see.” Harry said, smirking at a red faced Louis. When his eyes landed on the thick textbook he gaped, “Seriously? You’re _studying_?”

“If you’ve taken your piss,” Louis snapped, “Kindly go back to your party.”

“Okay,” Harry said confusedly, “But why aren’t you coming?”

“I’ve no interest in stupid parties.”

Harry stared suspiciously and sat down next to Louis, secretly marveling at the way the light of the fire lit his face up and hid some of his skin in shadow. “You liar!” he said teasingly, “You’re dying to come to this party!”

“No I’m not.” Louis retorted.

Harry snatched Louis’ pen and threw it behind his back. “Harry –“ Louis started, but Harry had plucked his textbook out of his hands as well, beginning to remove the notes and litter them around, letting them fly in the wind. “Harry what _are_ you doing, give me back my book!”

Harry put the book behind, encouraging Louis to grab at it. He held it above his head, the one place Louis couldn’t reach even on his tip toes, “ _Harry_ , give me back my book!” he whined.

“First tell me the truth,” Harry demanded. “Do you want to come to this party?”

Louis stared at Harry spitefully, trying to ignore the sparkle in his green eyes, “Yes.” He said begrudgingly.

“Then what’s the problem?” Harry said, exasperated.

Louis shook his head in frustrations, “You won’t understand!”

“Try me.”

“This stuff is so easy for you! Going to parties, making a new friend everyday! But you were always like that Harry, the cool guy, the guy everyone wanted to be friends with! But do you remember me? I never had any friends. I just sat silently in the corner and studied. Ditching classes, pissing off teachers, _chilling,_ I’ve never been able to do that, and I never will! Because, I’m… me. I’m boring.” Louis sighed, chest feeling kind of light after shouting out his feelings. Harry just stared at Louis with furrowed eyebrows, unsure of what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Louis said, looking away and taking back his textbook. But then Harry did speak.

“You’re…very cool Louis.” He said, but Louis just laughed and turned away. Harry clamped his palm over the older man’s wrist, forcing him to listen. “The way you came on this trip, with twenty four strangers. That takes guts. You beat up guys, you make me lose in races, you sing horrible pop songs and make them sound bearable, and you’re a total movie star babe.” Harry pulled Louis closer, and looked into his blue orbs, “Just stop criticizing yourself and learn to love yourself. You’re fine, just the way you are.”

Louis stared at the ground, dumbstruck at the monologue that Harry had just recited; it was hard to look in his eyes, when he knew that Harry had struck at his core. Harry had broken down some kind of wall that Louis didn’t even know he had put up.

“But there’s one problem,” Harry said, some of the sincerity leaving his tone, and more of a smug tone entering it again. “You don’t smile enough. Do you know how dangerous your smile is? If I had a heart, I’d go crazy over that smile.”

Louis gave a little grin; it had been a while since he had given someone a sincere smile. And he was smiling for Harry, Harry who lived like he was ready to die any second, Harry who threw compliments at people so easily, Harry who made friends as he blinked, Harry who seemed to be there for everyone.

“There we go,” He said, poking at Louis’ cheeks, “Now are you coming?”

-

“Congratulations guys, this is officially the highest point of our trek, we’ve reached the top.” Said the instructor, eliciting cheers from the campers. Harry spotted a red flag on another peak, higher than where they were.

“What’s that?” Asked Harry, pointing at the red flag.

“The name of that peak is Bhutapun.”

“Why can’t we climb up there? The view must be amazing.”

“Because Harry, that peak is said to be haunted. The old villagers here say that there used to be a temple there, and it was also said that if you wished for something in that temple during the full moon it would be given to you. In greed for such a gift, people would travel from far away to have a go, but none of them ever returned.” The instructor said with a grin, “No temple has ever been found, but it is said that every full moon, these tortured souls still gather there. The interesting thing is that tonight will be a full moon, though I doubt anyone really wants to go up there now. C’mon then, let’s set up camp for the night.”

Harry trudged up the snow in the dark, the cold getting to his chest. He lifted the bottle of whisky to his lips, relishing the warmth as it went down his throat. He heard a rustle behind him and swiveled quickly to see, nothing.

A scream of ‘ _boo!_ ’ next to him startled him into falling backward crazily but Louis held onto his hand laughing, preventing him from hitting the ground, “you hear strange sounds in the forest, never turn to look, you never know what you might see.”

Harry recognized the words and gave a little smile, “Jesus Lou, you nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?”

Louis just smirked and pulled Harry back up into a standing position, “C’mon, if there really was a temple here, there’s a few things I want to ask for too.” He said as he continued to walk forward, Harry smiling close at his heels.

They walked in comfortably in silence for a while. It made Harry realize for how long he had been talking. Even with Niall and Zayn there were never silences where they were at ease, it was all banter and conversation, but with Louis it was different. Everything was calmer and less urgent; time seemed to creep slower and with no particular rush to propel them along.

After a while Louis began to hear the wheezing in Harry’s voice, they climbed higher and higher to reach the desired peak. “Harry, should we sit?”

“No need for that, I’m not tired.”

Louis smiled at the ground, “Not you, I’m tired. Can we sit?” Harry mumbled in agreement and set his rucksack to the ground, but Louis heard the relief in his voice.  “Do you have alcohol?” Louis asked.

“What?” Harry said, bewildered.

“It’s really cold!” Louis complained, “Please?”

Harry laughed and passed his bottle of whisky over to Louis who put it to his lips immediately, taking a gulp. “Well aren’t you full of surprises today?”

“Shh, don’t tell anyone.” Louis warned, “I don’t drink, ever.”

Louis took another sip and scrunched his eyes up, “then I’ll take that back, you’re probably a lightweight.”

“This is amazing! What is it?”

“It’s a specialty round here, this brand.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m not as stupid as I look okay?” Harry retorted, pulling a book out of his bag, “here look.” Harry said, handing him the brown, leather bound book.

Louis opened it to reveal names of cities and countries on every page, each journey documented and captured in picture form forever. Some pages were full, bursting at the seams with memories, and some pages empty, waiting to be used. “Venice, Chicago, Paris, what is this book Harry?”

“It’s my dream,” Harry said, resting his face in his palms and looking at Louis, noting his reaction. “I want to see the corners of the world Lou.”

Louis laughed and shut the book, giving back to Harry, “You’ll spend all your life trying to do that, when will you do all the other stuff?”

“What other stuff?” Harry retorted, “Study till twenty two, job at twenty five, married at thirty and retired at sixty. What comes after that? Just sitting around in pajamas, waiting to die. Ugh, I don’t want to live such a bland life.”

“So what do you want out of life Haz?” Louis asked curiously, nickname slipping out.

Harry smiled and leaned closer to Louis until his cold breath was washing over his face, “Adventure,” He breathed, “Insanity. Every day so breathtaking, so I can hear the blood pumping in my ears. I want to fly; I want to run, even to fall. I just don’t want to stop.”

Louis stared in wonder at the boy in front of him, how the curls swooped over his forehead, how his green eyes sparkled, the cut of his jaw and the snowflakes on his eyelashes, “For you this may just be trekking, an experience,” he continued, “But for me it’s what I live for.”

“I got a bit carried away didn’t I?” Harry chuckled, eyes slipping to the ground.

“No,” Louis smiled, “I think you’re amazing.”

“But the question is, why am I telling _you_ all this? I haven’t even told Zayn and Niall about this.”

“How do I know?” Louis quipped, “You never even said hello to me in school.”

“So I’ll say it now,” Harry laughed, “Hello Louis.”

“Hello.” Louis giggled with a little wave.

“How are you Louis?”

Louis bobbed his head with a little chuckle, leading Harry to do the same.

And right there on that mountain, a miracle occurred, that miracle was love. Louis had never experienced so much happiness, he had fallen in love. He wanted to scream it out from the mountain tops, but mostly, he wanted to tell him. Louis didn’t know if there ever was a temple on that peak, but he wished for something anyway, as he stood from on the edge hand in hand with a curly haired boy, gulping in the view, feeling so large at the moment.

The wish was simple, so simple. Harry.

-

Niall pushed an eye open, grimacing at the sunlight creeping blaring through the bus windows, he turned to grab some water off Louis but then realised that he wasn’t present. In his place was an open rucksack with his glasses tucked into the top. He looked over to Harry who was awake as well and frowning. Harry tilted his chin as if to ask for Louis and Niall shrugged.

Harry but his lip and pushed Zayn off him gently, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He got out of the bus and into the sunlight, followed by Niall, both of them stretching tiredly in the sunlight. A spray of water hit Harry square in the back, causing him to stumble forwards in shock. Niall’s loud laugh sounded in the air, and Harry turned around. Louis stood and laughed with a hose, continuing to spray the both of them as his blue eyes twinkled in the sun. Only then did Harry realise that there were hundreds of people in the distance, throwing powdered color up into the air, purples, blue, reds and greens. Harry looked at Louis again, the boy who was smiling so wide, he looked majestic and beautiful, specks of color in his hair and on his white shirt.

Zayn stumbled out of the bus wearily and was attacked by the ice cold water as well, “What the f-? Louis you shit!” he yelled angrily, running after the blue eyed boy. Harry grinned widely at Niall and removed his leather jacket, running off to join the two and the brightly coloured crowd.

As Harry weaved through the people he felt a light weight on his back, and hands rubbing pinks and blues into his hair. He turned his head over his shoulder only to see Louis there laughing like a maniac. Harry twisted and picked him up as easily as he would a feather, he carried Louis like a bride towards a large tub full of water. The golden boy put up a good fight, kicking and screaming in between laughs, battering his fists against Harry’s chest, “NO HARRY THE WATER IS FREEZ –“

But Harry was always one for the mischief, as he stood on the sidelines of the colourful pool, laughing at an extremely annoyed Louis who was waving his fists around and threatening Harry. But before he could say anything, he felt Louis’ palm seize the material of his shirt and pull him into the pool as well.

After dunking Louis in feigned anger, Harry’s hands found Louis’ rounded hips, and Louis’ wound themselves around Harry’s neck and rested in his curls.

The sun had begun to set, painting the sky blood red and magenta. The light accentuated the colour that had spread on Harry’s face, turquoise blue smeared across his cheeks and purple on his forehead. His hair was sprinkled with pink and yellow, and his eyes sparkled like the brightest emeralds in a long lost treasure.

Harry playfully pressed a kiss to Louis’s cheek and jumped out of the pool, sticking his tongue out at Louis. As the younger boy ran away, Louis felt his heart drop to his chest, weighing heavy with the emotions that he couldn’t let out. His breaths were short and broken, the suddenness of the situation feeling like a slap in the face.

They would all go back home tonight, and if Louis never saw Harry again, he would regret his silence forever.

Four hours till Louis left for home.

Four hours for Louis to tell Harry.

-

Niall laughed loudly as Zayn rubbed red powder into his mouth, unable to keep the smile off his face. In the moment he could only see Zayn, and Zayn could see only him. They had built their own universe in one that was fucked up and confusing, as they had many a time before.

Zayn squealed as Niall messed up his hair with blue and green hues. As the sun set the both looked up to admire the sky, clouds floating across it, painted with red shadows.

Niall looked into Zayn’s sparkling eyes and smiled so hard, he worried that his face would split in half. But Zayn was looking somewhere else, somewhere over Niall’s shoulder.

He clapped Niall on the back and pointed subtly into the distance at one of the girls from the trip. She was swaying her hips sultrily and running her hands through her hair.

Niall his stomach drop to his feet as Zayn winked back at her.  “See you in the morning man.” He smirked, going forth towards the girl, he didn’t look back.

Niall’s throat seized up at the sight of Zayn grinding against her in the crowd of people. What had just this morning been colourful and innocent was now tainted with dark glowing body paint and alcohol. People take advantage of the night, they think that nobody sees because of the darkness, but they do.

Running towards the forest again, he let the world fly past him, barely bothering to acknowledge the faces and the calls of his name. He didn’t care. The memories flashing through his mind made him sick, bile rising up in his throat. He bent over the edge of a tree and choked on the tears that he didn’t know existed until he brushed them off his cheeks.  He curled up against the bark and slumped down onto the moss, waiting for daylight to take over the night.

-

Harry and Louis walked side by side, barefoot, holding their shoes in their fingers by the straps. The gravel was kind of hot and it poked into their feet but not much seemed to matter, compared to the thoughts running through Louis’ mind.

“I wish this night would never end.” Harry sighed. “I don’t want the morning.”

_Tell him tell him tell him tell him tell him tell him_

“Harry, I need to tell you something.” Louis said, stopping. Harry turned around to face Louis and smiled.

“Sure.”

“You’ve been amazing and so kind ever since we came on this trip –“

_Smooth Louis, flatter him some more why don’t you_

“And I just wanted to say, well what I wanted to say for a while now, is that I think I’m –“

“Harry!” Shouted Zayn, running towards them from the direction of the bus, waving some kind of blue flyer in his hand. “What is this?” he asked, out of breath. His eyes were wild and hair mussed. He looked panicked, and Louis wondered what the flyer, no, envelope said.

Harry’s eyes widened almost comically, “Where did you find that you fucker?” He snapped, grabbing for it.

Niall turned up from the side of the road and joined Louis side, “what’s he talking about Harry?” he asked sceptically, taking the envelope and opening it to reveal a letter which his eyes began to scan.

“I was going to surprise you.” Harry said quietly, eyes reaching the ground.

“Surprise?”  , Zayn laughed. “How could you keep something this huge from us?”

“I was going to tell you tonight.”

Louis kept quiet, because he didn’t really know what to say, and he didn’t know if it was really his place to say anything, but in his mind he was screaming to know what that envelope said, and why Harry kept sending shifty glances his way as if to gage his reaction.

“Journalism program, Northwestern University, Chicago.” Niall read flatly, “this is a scholarship letter Haz.”

“Yeah.” Harry said, some of the pride shining clear in his voice.

“Yours.”

“My name’s on it.”

“You’re leaving?” Zayn blurted out.

“No,” Harry said sarcastically, “I’m carrying it around because it matches my shirt.”

Zayn laughed, and Louis wondered why his sense of humour wasn’t working as well. “When are you leaving?”

“Three weeks.”

Louis felt his heart beating like a drum because _he can’t leave, not now_.

“Jesus Christ Harry, why didn’t you tell me?” Zayn mumbled, “our apartment, our plans, you could’ve said something when we spoke about it!”

“I’m sorry man –“

“What is this rubbish Haz?” Zayn said, he turned to Niall for support, and “what is he going to do without us for four years here?” he spoke, waving the letter, “you’ll get so tired you’ll come running back in four _days_.”

Niall was silent for a while, but he continued to look at Harry. “You should go Harry, of course you should. You’ll never have this opportunity again man.” He said, turning to look at Zayn for the first time, “How long can we keep this up? We’re growing up, and we have to make something of ourselves Zayn. This childishness needs to stop.”

Niall took the letter back from Zayn and handed it to Harry, “congratulations Haz.” He said, and walked back to the bus.

Zayn looked at Harry, his best friend, with hope in his eyes, and hugged him hard. “If you’re happy, that’s enough for me mate. C’mon, we’ll drink to it in the bus.” He smiled, walking away as well.

Harry looked at Louis, eyes burning, and Louis didn’t look down, he stared right back. “what.” he asked, jerking his head.

“What?” Louis retorted.

“I’m scared.”

“You get scared?”

“Everything’s changing.”

“So?”

“My friends –“

“Not to happy are they.” Louis noted, eyeing the bus in the distance.

“I don’t even know what my mum will say yet.”

“America is so far away.” Louis stated.

“I’ll get lonely.”

“And here, right now?”

“It feels nice, like home.”

Louis smiled, even though inside he could feel his lungs constricting. Harry was looking at him with such sincerity, his eyes were so truthful.

“But I want, I –“, Harry stuttered, unable to phrase the words.

“You want to fly,” Louis finished, “you want to run, and even to what?”

Harry chuckled, “and even to fall.”

“Right.” Louis grinned, “You want –“

“Too see the corners of the world,”

“And going to America,”

“Will take me closer to my dreams.” Harry finished, joy creeping into his eyes. “I’ll have to go Lou.”

Louis nodded, closing his eyes in acceptance, “I know.”

“Will you miss me?” Harry asked cheekily.

Louis shook his head noncommittally, “not at all.”

Harry gave a small smile, “You were going to tell me something right?”

Louis shrugged and looked up at the sky, watching the creep slowly into the sky. “Only that it’s morning.” He said, and walked away as well, hugging himself for warmth.

He couldn’t say it, he just couldn’t. As much as he loved Harry, Harry loved his dreams more. It was difficult, but Louis was comforted by the fact that he was taking home a suitcase of memories to keep, ones that he would never forget. The days, the nights, the laughter, the mischief, the friendship and Harry. The boy who chased his dreams so hard, that he had disappeared within the blink of an eye. Eight years went by, and he never looked back, and Louis didn’t wait for him to.

-

Harry leaned off the rails of the yacht, staring at his reflection in the water, heavy professional camera weighing in his right hand. It had served him well over the last four years, containing pictures of things worlds apart. The dark and dangerous alley ways of Paris, with thugs and old sleazy men, pouring alcohol down their throats, and women with too much makeup who had gone wrong somewhere to end up there. Couples absorbed in themselves on the many beaches, parents teaching their children to build sandcastles, sisters bickering over swimsuits and souvenirs. Young boys in baggy shorts with skateboards, sliding smoothly over the edges of graphitized slopes, twisting and somersaulting in the air gracefully.

Over the years Harry had captured a thousand different people with a thousand different stories, and it gave made his spine shiver at the mystery that those stories contained. When he was working he clicked models and exquisite foods and sceneries in a hundred different countries. Some nights he would stay up late, editing the pictures, adding glamour and shine, enhancing their beauty, some nights he would stay up late talking and laughing with the new people he met, drinking in their personalities and learning new things eagerly. Some nights he would score a pretty girl or a boy and go home with them for the sole reason of having a good time. He would never stay the night.

The producer of the show he had been filming for a week came up to him, staring amusedly at the lanky boy pushing his body as far as it could go over the edge of the boat.

“Watcha looking at Harry?” She asked.

“Just life, and how quickly it’s passing.” He responded.

“Deep.” She commented, nodding appreciatively, playing along with the crazy journalist. “I don’t know why Harry, but I’m remembering home today.”

“Liar,” Harry smirked, “When have you ever thought of home?”

The brown haired woman in the sharp suit laughed, “I do think of home, but then, I forget.” She said simply.

She looked at Harry, who nodded, and spoke again, “Me and you, we’re basically the same huh. We’ve never really been attached to things like home, and a place to stay, and now we’ve fallen in love with not having one.  You my friend have fallen so deep, that as soon as we finish this, and go back to San Francisco, you’ll leave us. Am I right?”

Harry just smiled.

“But I have another offer for you. In the next month or so, we’re starting a travel show, everywhere, all over the world. Culture, beauty, religion, the works –“

“And you want me to film it?” Harry asked uncertainly.

“No,” she said slyly, “we want you to host it.”

Harry was dumbstruck, speechless and Katy laughed, “Trust me; you’re perfect for the job, say yes babe.”

“Yes.” Harry responded immediately, “oh my god, yes.”

“Say it again?”

“YES!”

Harry laughed and hugged the smaller woman in front of him, almost feeling the happiness bursting from his lungs with every breath.

-

Harry splashed the water on his face, shuddering at the cold, the music blasted, keeping his thoughts distracted as he went back to editing his pictures. When he heard his laptop emit a voice he immediately paused the music to listen clearer

“–and the bloody mail service brought back my package, and my plan to surprise you, well that went down the drain,” said an Irish voice laughing, and Harry stopped in his tracks.

“But that’s okay, because I have plan B!” Harry looked at his computer in awe. “How do I look, highlights, suit and tie, maybe a pedicure –“, Niall winked. “You dare not laugh you fuck, because I’m sending you this video so that you can see me in all my sexiness, and take some time out of your super busy life and come for my wedding. Yeah, I’m getting married! Me! And in style, destination wedding in Leicestershire. Lots happening, engagement ceremony, wedding and reception party, the works. And look, I know how busy you are, your life is the bomb right now, and you hate coming home, but please come? I’m going crazy here, and if you do decide to come, bring your best, best man suit. “The blonde boy laughed, but then grew silent. “We grew up really fast, didn’t we mate. Anyway, I have to go, love you babe.”

Harry shut his laptop slowly, smiling sadly, recalling the sight of Niall in tie dyed shirts and baggy shorts, and wondered who the unknown fiancé is.

-

Niall, put tightened his tie and tossed his jacket over his shoulder, walking down to the hall for the guests welcoming ceremony. The wedding they were doing was huge. It was in Leicestershire, in one of the large castle type hotels overlooking gorgeous scenery. The whole hotel had been booked out for guests due to the different ceremonies and the time it would take to get back to London and come again the next day.

He heard the sound of wheels in the living room of his and his soon-to-be husband’s presidential suite and peeked around the door to see. “I didn’t think you would come.”

“Me neither really,” replied Zayn’s voice, “but then I realised I couldn’t possibly miss your wedding.”

Niall grinned widely and strode over to Zayn hugging him tight, “I’m really glad you’re here.” He said, in a muffled tone before he pulled away. “What happened to your bar deal?”

Zayn shrugged, “it sank, and investors couldn’t afford the losses. Nobody else willing to invest in a lost cause.”

“What do you mean nobody?” Niall frowned, “how much do you need.”

Zayn clicked his tongue, “two million pounds, do you happen to have some of that lying around.” He asked sarcastically.

“I’ll have you know that if I did, I’d give it to you without second thought.” Niall said, pointing a shoe at him.

“ I didn’t take money from my own father, why would I take from you?” Zayn asked, as Niall sat down on the armrest to pull on his shoes.

“Now why did you do that?”

“Because he wouldn’t give.” Zayn chuckled, “he says that, giving money to me is the equivalent of flushing it down a toilet.” He mocked, pouring himself another drink.

“It’s eight o’clock Zayn, how much will you drink? Don’t.”

“Why are you getting married Niall? Don’t.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It is, what do you see in the goof anyway?”

Niall crossed his arms defensively, “His name is Liam.”

“He’s a little strange.”

“Is not!”

They both turned their heads abruptly to the side as a loud splash sounded throughout the room. Niall walked over immediately to see a brown haired man in the pool, drenched to the bone.

“Liam?” Niall said, panicking. “Liam!”

“Hi Niall,” the puppy dog face said, emerging from the water, “You look gorgeous babe.”

“What are you doing in there?”

“I dropped my engagement ring, and I’m trying to find it.”

Niall sighed, “Get out Liam! You’re going to catch a cold babe; we’ll get someone else to do it for you.”

“No Niall.” Liam said, punching a fist in the air. “I will not let our engagement ring drown.” He said, submerging himself in the water again.

“Niall,” Zayn said, sipping at his drink, “Will he be okay, or should I throw in a float.”

Niall rolled his eyes and was just going to retort as Liam pulled his head up again in victory, “found it!”

“Thank god.” Niall sighed in relief, “Now get out we’re going to be late.” He said, pulling out his drenched fiancé.

Only noticing Zayn for the first time, Liam’s eyes lit up. “Zayn man! You came! Niall look, Zayn’s here! So glad you could come mate.” Liam exclaimed, vigorously embracing the dark skinned boy. Zayn choked out a greeting, grimacing at his rapidly dampening suit. Niall pulled Liam away smiling and took him back into their room, they both left Zayn with the promise of seeing him at the ceremony.

-

“–and now, we have Niall’s best friend Louis, to make a toast.” someone announced as Louis bounced up to the front of the crowd, skin glowing and eyes smiling.

“–so one day, Niall came up to me and told me that he was ready to settle down, and his parents had seen someone.” Louis smirked, “and I was like _what_ , you want to have an arranged marriage? And he said, ‘I’m _bored_ Louis. They’ve met some sweet engineer, it’ll be fun.’” The crowd laughed, “within the month of meeting the guy I got a call in the middle of the night going, ‘Louis I’m getting married.’ ‘Who’s the guy?’ ‘The same engineer.”

A loud chorus of ‘aww’s’ filled the room, “many years earlier, me and Niall were on a trek, I didn’t think for a moment after that trek, that we would stay in touch. But then one night, my phone rang and he told me to open the door, and there he was. Beer in one hand and cigarettes in the other, he made my home his and listened to heavy metal, and I slept with earphones. That’s what our friendship grew on. Y’know, I’ve seen everything. Niall’s stubbornness, his craziness, his leather jacket phase, his ‘I am a musician phase.’”

“Hey I am a musician!” Niall shouted.

“But as crazy and wild as Niall is, his heart is as big, and his loyalty as unwavering. I love you Niall, and I’m going to miss you.” Louis finished, giving a small smile, directed at his best friend sitting in the front. He walked off stage to give Niall a huge hug, as a mic screeched behind him, and everyone shut their ears, grimacing. But then a deep voice spoke.

“They say that there never is a right time to get married, but the minute you do you’re doomed. Niall, my lion, my braveheart, I left you for a few years and look what you’ve done. I’m so disappointed. But with whatever time we have left of your single-ness, we’re going to make the most of it.”

Harry appeared on stage, and Louis sucked in his breath. His curls had been done up into a swooping kind of quiff and was definitely lighter, his shoulders were broader and the cut of his jaw was sharp and defined. He hopped of stage and went straight to Niall, engulfing him in a tight hug; they exchanged a few quiet words in each other’s ears as the guests cheered. Harry kissed Niall on the cheek and then He then progressed to Liam, fake punching him in the face and then drawing him into an embrace as well.

Louis smiled as Harry fell into conversation easily with the guests, even though he barely knew some of them. Everyone laughed and hung on to his words, because that was just Harry. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and lived easily, laughed easier. Discomfort and awkwardness, didn’t even exist in his dictionary. Harry caught Louis staring, with a goofy smile on his face, but this time Louis didn’t look away, because this was _Harry_. Everything was easy with him. The younger man’s dimple peeked out as he blew Louis a kiss, Louis laughed and shook his head.

People never change.

-

Zayn felt two hands clamp over his eyes and swore, “Niall get your hands off me.”

Niall laughed and pinched his cheeks, “No sweetheart, see who I’ve brought you!” He said excitedly, presenting a curly haired boy. “Our little boy Hazza!” he slurred.

“He Zaynie.” Harry said, smiling a little shyly. Zayn stared. He stared Harry up and down, eyes widening, and then scrunching up suspiciously as Niall laughed.

“See Harry? I told you, he’ll die in shock.”

“What did you think,” Harry said, clapping Zayn’s shoulder with one arm around Niall, “I’d miss his suicide attempt? Never.”

“I didn’t think,” Zayn muttered, “I was sure of it.”

There was silence, and Harry coughed awkwardly as Niall continued giggling in his drunken stupor. Zayn shook his head and smiled, standing up to hug Harry tightly when he pulled away he asked, “Drink?”

“Sure.” Harry said easily, “Why weren’t you there for cocktails man?”

“His prince charming ruined my one and only suit.” Zayn gestured at Niall, shaking his head.

“Ah, and who is this guy, who’s stolen Nialler’s heart.”

“He’s a rich bitch.” Zayn smirked. “He kind of looks like a puppy, but he drives a Porsche so –“, Zayn trailed off.

“Shut _up_ Zayn.” Niall grumbled. “Liam is intelligent, and sweet, and he loves me very much.” Niall smiled, eyes twinkling.

“So basically he’s a lapdog.” Zayn said, passing Harry his drink.

Niall clicked his tongue in annoyance as Harry spoke, “So how’s your bar going?”

“Oh fantastic!” Zayn lied, urging Niall to keep quiet with a flick of his eyes.

“So how long are you here for?” questioned Niall, changing the topic.

“Just for the wedding, in fact, leaving right after the wedding night, and then Paris.”

“Paris!” Niall said, impressed. “What’s happening there?”

“I’ve got an amazing offer to work with.”

“Man, your life is just full of offers; do you still live in Chicago?” Zayn asked.

“Oh no,” Harry said, “That was ages ago. Since then it’s been New York, then Hawaii, then –“

“Man you move around so much I’ve lost track.” Zayn said, cutting him off.

“When I spoke to you last, you were in Boston.” Niall said, speech still slurred.

“LA.”

“Oh of course.” Niall sighed, “When your dad –I’m so sorry Haz.”

There was silence again, as Harry looked out at the scene in front of them. Brick pathways, curling through rivers and fountains, stars up above and their reflections in the clear liquid below, it was beautiful.

“Guys, let’s do something.” Niall whined. “It’s the three of us together again. Just like old times.”

Zayn scoffed, “Please Niall. Other than our faces, everything’s changed.”

“But you always said things never change between friends.”

“That’s true,” Zayn said, standing up. “But we’re not friends Harry. Cheers.” He said, walking away.

“Harry,” Niall started, only to be interrupted.

“It’s –It’s fine. I think I’m going to take a shower.” Harry said distractedly, “Yeah.”

-

His jacket was slung over his back, even though the weather was cold, the wind was biting at his body. He concentrated on his shoe, water splashing with every step he took, and then a whisper broke that concentration. He turned to see Louis giving him a little wave and beckoning him closer.

Louis was sitting on a dock, legs dangling over the edge and in the water. He had changed into baggy sweatpants that he had rolled up to the knee, and a large sweatshirt that he was pulling over his little fists. He blew into them and smiled as Harry came closer. The curly haired boy took off his shoes as well, lowering them into the water and yelping at the cold.

“It’s just water” Louis chuckled, “It’ll get okay after a while.”

“The things you make me do Tommo.” Harry groaned, forcing himself to dunk his legs.

Louis laughed at Harry’s over exaggerated shivers, and continued to look into the moonlight, blue eyes wide awake. “Are you married?” Harry asked.

“What?” Louis exclaimed. “No!”

“Kids?”

“Yeah, three.” Louis said sarcastically.

“You vile human being.” Harry grunted.

Louis giggled, “Why do you ask love?”

“Just wondering,” Harry mused. “Whether I should watch my mouth or flirt shamelessly.”

“Is the flirting really necessary?” Louis sighed.

“‘Course.” Harry noted, “It’s healthy, y’know like –“

“Yoga?” Louis completed. “I remember.” He smiled to himself.

Harry tilted his head forward to look at the older man more carefully, “Were you always so fit, or has time pulled off a miracle?”

“Ugh.” Louis said, scrunching up his nose. “Too cheesy.”

“Oh yeah.” Harry said, “once upon a time, you fell for these lines.”

“Me?” Louis said in disbelief. “Fall for your lines? Never.”

Harry hummed, and looked back out at the water, the wedding lights twinkled around them and blue eyes met green. Louis hadn’t changed at all, same feathery hair, same crinkly eyes, same sharp features and long eyelashes. Same beauty enhanced with age.

“You know you haven’t changed at all Haz.” Louis noted. “Except for one thing.”

“What?”

“You used to smile easier.” Louis said, Harry gave him a little smile in return. “How’s the water now?”

“It’s fine.” Harry spoke, tilting his head.

“Told you, just give it time, everything will be okay.” Louis stood up stroking Harry’s hair as he did. “Good night.”

“Night Louis.”

-

“Harry, she’s twisted her ankle not died.” Louis scolded, “I told you to pick up the officiate. Take my phone and call him, he’s waiting.” He said, trying to balance all the flowers in his hand.

Harry grumbled as he shooed the girl away, “Man Lou, always ruining my fun. Phone.”

Louis tried to free a hand and failed, resorting to sticking out his hip for Harry to navigate. Harry pushed himself as close as possible to a bemused Louis, sticking his hand into the pocket slowly, deliberately brushing at his thigh. “Harry, today.”

Harry huffed and slid the phone out, walking off with a salute.

-

Harry felt something vibrate against his skin and pulled Louis’ phone out, eyes widening at the message. It was a picture of Louis dancing happily with Niall, some champagne slopping out of the tall glass.

_Looking gorgeous babe._

Harry almost choked on his own spit, running immediately to find Louis. He saw Louis sitting at a table with Niall and Zayn, about to put a sandwich in his mouth.

“Hello people of the earth.” He announced, plonking between Niall and Louis. He looked at the feather haired man, and spoke slowly and deliberately. “You’re looking gorgeous. _Babe_.”

Louis jaw dropped, “Where’s my phone?” Harry slid it out of his pocket sneakily, “Right here. _Babe_.”

“Harry!” Louis screeched, jumping out of his seat. “Give me back my phone!”

“So who’s sending you compliments eh?” Harry shouted, as Louis chased him. “Great job Louis. Didn’t think you had it in you!”

“Harry!” Louis screamed, laughing and out of breath. “What is it to you anyway?”

“The psycho’s sneaking around and taking pictures of you.” Harry mused. “Must be around here somewhere.”

“ _Harryyyyyyy.”_

“Why are you hiding him eh Lou?”

“ _Haaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”_

Harry jogged to a stop at the edge of the lake, breathing hard. “Tired yet?” Louis smirked.

“Nope. I don’t get tired.”

Louis laughed, and held his hand out expectantly. Harry sighed and shoved the phone into his hand. “Okay, you’re off easy this time, but I won’t give up until I find this prince.” Harry yelled, leaving Louis at the lakeside, giggling at his insanity.

-

“Aujourd’hui. Comment ca va?” Harry pronounced, it had been a while since twelfth grade, and the key to living in a new city was to learn the language.

“Oi Louis’ your name’s French. Are you French?” he shouted at Louis across the garden.

Louis stomped over to Harry, face determined. “No. And stop this rubbish. I’m in a crisis that you’re going to solve for me.” He said, pulling Harry up. They wound through the castle balconies and up the roofs, climbing the tiled canopies carefully until they reached the other side.

“Okay, now jump down there.” Louis said, pointing to a wall that led to a balcony.

“I’m not running a circus here.”

“Scared?” Louis mocked.

Harry frowned, and handed the French handbook and sunglasses to Louis. “Don’t hurt my ego.” He said, throwing a leg over the wall and lowering himself down.

“Now peek into that room and tell me what’s happening.” Louis ordered.

Harry smirked teasingly. “When did you become so vulgar Lou-ie?” he peered into the room anyway and hummed, “oh yes our sister-in-law, Liam.”

“What’s he doing?”

“Some psychotic dance routine.” Harry noted. “But what am I doing here?” Harry asked sitting up from his sneaky position on the roof.

“Shh.” Louis said harshly from the top. “You’re looking at how good their dance is!” Louis whispered.

“Who’s dance?”

“The groom’s side stupid!” he hissed. “Well, the other groom’s side.” Louis said on second thought.

“Ahhhhhhh.” Harry said, realization dawning clear upon his features.

“We should always asses the strengths of the enemy before making our move.”

“Oi James Bond.” Harry mocked. “This is a wedding performance, not dancing with the stars, anyway,” he said, sliding off quietly. “I don’t cheat.”

“Shut _up_. If you didn’t cheat, you’d still be in the fourth grade you prat.”

Harry looked up disgustedly and moved back into his position. “Point” he said begrudgingly.

-

Niall groaned loudly, searching for his second sock through mounds of clothing and bottles of whisky.

“Oh yeah you wanted to get married right,” Harry said, wiping his wet hands on a cloth, “go forth my child.” He muttered.

“Not now Harry.” Niall said looking around. “Harry that’s my sock!”

Harry cringed and looked up at the television, “hey it’s my show!”

“Wow.” Niall said, “How is Venice?”

“Horrible.” Harry said, “It’s Europe’s sewage system.”

“What? I’m going there with Liam, after the wedding.”

“Ugh, why.” Harry said, grimacing.

“He likes historical places,” Niall said putting a spoon of chocolate cake into his mouth. “Doesn’t matter though, it’ll be fun anywhere.”

“It won’t be fun.” Zayn said, “You’ll die of boredom.”

“Shut up Zayn.”

“You still have a chance.” He advised. “Run.” Zayn sat on the sofa and picked up the remote to adjust the channel.

“Why’d you change it?” Harry asked. “That was my show.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Well change it back.”

“It’s your show right?” Zayn retorted, gaze fixed on the television. “How many times will you watch it?”

“I wanted to show it to you.”

I don’t want to see it.” Zayn took a large sip of his drink.

Harry put down his glass and clenched his fist, trying to control the rage building in his head. He walked to the television and put it off, screen turning black, but Zayn just looked amused.

“What’s your problem Harry?”

“What’s _your_ problem?”

“You know what me problem is!” Zayn said, raising his voice and getting off the sofa furiously.

“I want to hear it from your mouth!” Harry shouted, following him.

“Drop the pretence Harry.” Zayn groaned. “You’ve met us just this once in eight years! You must have called me around ten times at the most. And you’re asking me what _my_ problem is?”

“Well you certainly didn’t call everyday!”

“Oh I did. I just got sick of reaching voicemail.”

Harry pulled at his hair in frustration. “Understand Zayn, I’ve been caught up everywhere. New homes, new cities. Man I had to make my life, my _career_ out of nothing. I had to follow my dreams!”

“Oh your dreams, your life, your problems, your _excuses_!” Zayn screamed. “All yours. Did you ever think about me? My situation, my problems?”

“Oh my god Zayn, relax!” Harry ordered loudly. “It’s not like I spoke to Niall every day, but he’s not being an arse to me!”

Zayn laughed crazily, wringing his hands. “That’s because Niall doesn’t even have expectations of you! He was sure you wouldn’t even come for this wedding. Of course he was Harry! You couldn’t even be there for your own mother’s funeral!” Zayn screamed.

Both men were in so much pain, breathing hard and fast, eyes red with tears threatening to flow and fists itching. “Look.” Harry said, trying to keep his voice controlled. “Niall’s right. You shouldn’t even have any expectations of me. That’s how I am.”

“Yeah that’s how you are. Dishonest and selfish.” Zayn sneered. 

“At least I’m not a failure like you!” Harry screamed.

Before any of them could think they were wrestling. And it wasn’t like the childhood play wrestling. This was a hate fuelled squabble. Nails were scratching at any exposed flesh and both were landing vicious punches, all landing off mark due to them being blinded red hot rage. Zayn snarled and picked up one of the whisky bottles throwing it at Harry. The curly haired boy ducked and it hit the wall behind him with a crash.

 “Are you fucking crazy? You could have killed me!” another bottle flew in his direction and he swore, ducking again. “You stupid shit!” Harry screamed. “Here take a pillow.” He said quickly replacing another bottle with a feather pillow.

Zayn stared at the pillow, and then started smacking Harry round the head with it. “Fucking cheater.” He grunted.

“Why the fuck are you fighting like a girl.” Harry said holding an arm in front of his face as he wrestled Zayn off him. The pillow exploded in feathers and both of them fell to the ground breathing hard. A pair of shoes came into view and they both stood up guiltily.

“Looking great Nialler.” Zayn stuttered.

“I’m getting married,” Niall said through gritted teeth. “And my two best friends are fighting like dogs. Now stop this bloody drama and apologize to each other.”

“Sorry.” Zayn mumbled.

“It’s okay.”

Zayn looked at Harry expectantly and then turned to Niall, whining. “Niall he isn’t saying sorry.”

“Harry.”

“Good.” Niall said, breathing out in relief. “Now. Beaver. Butthead. Let me see a hug.”

Harry looked at Zayn and sniffed awkwardly.

“Now!”

Zayn put his arms around Harry, and without even realizing it, Harry had buried his nose into Zayn’s shoulder, just like he had when they were kids, and all Zayn’s anger hand melted away, and he hugged tightly and sincerely. “I’m sorry.” He whispered into Harry’s ear.

“Okay, I’m joining in too!” Niall said happily, putting his arms around the both of them, it finally felt like things were falling into place, and by the day of the marriage, Harry would be sad to leave, sad to leave indeed.

-

“C’mon Louis, how much will you sleep?” Harry shouted, putting his things into a backpack, “We only have today to see Leicestershire, let’s go.” He said, stepping over a sleeping body in a suit. Louis stepped out of the bathroom, eyes fresh and hair feathered.

“I’m ready, Jesus, let’s go.”

“You don’t have to call me Jesus y’know.” Harry said, running after Louis who was rolling his eyes.

“Do you ever get tired of throwing old, by the book lines at me?”

“Not really.”

“Good to know.”

-

Louis and Harry chatted all through the day, Louis spoke about his life at home, the clinic, old friends, old schoolgirl jokes, and Harry spoke about his life. Travelling, filming, everything he had seen and done.

But the rest of the time they stayed silent. Just drinking in the scenery and the culture, the boats that sailed them to the small town. The kiosks that sold charms and read palms. Harry held up his video camera as usual and took in everything with vigour as Louis looked through all the shops one by one, stopping to talk to townsfolk easily.

“So this is your life huh. You must have seen so much like this.”

“You have no idea, I love my life Lou,” Harry said, “I could never live like all of you.”

Louis paused as Harry walked ahead. “What do you mean all of us?”

“I mean, you’ll live out your life in the same city, the same room, aren’t you dying of boredom?”

“Of course not.” Louis replied smoothly. “I’ve chosen this life. And I’m not interested in living your life!” Louis mocked teasingly. “Like a bloody hippie.”

Harry smiled and jogged after Louis, “You’re saying this now, you haven’t even seen the world babe. You wouldn’t know how it feels to live in a different place every day.”

 Louis stopped, “and you wouldn’t know how it feels to be with home and family.”

-

“You don’t know what it’s like to stay with a new family, and hear their life stories.” Harry grinned.

Louis took a scarf and wound it round Harry’s curls, “and you don’t know what it’s like to sit with old friends and reminisce on old stories.”

“Have you ever seen Paris Lou?”

“Have you ever seen a child take her first breath?”

Harry smiled at the kindness in Louis voice, it had never left, “No.” he said, “but I’ve seen them running round on the streets.”

Louis grimaced. “So cheap Haz.”

They sat on the hood of the car, butterflies fluttering round the flowers and surrounding them.

“California sun.”

“London rain.”

“Crème Brule.”

“Ben and Jerry’s double fudge.”

“When you’re a fat father of two, I’ll still be hot and fit.”

Louis sucked in an offended breath and stabbed a finger at Harry’s chest. “First of all, not two, six. And when I’m sitting in my mansion with those kids, watching Harry Potter, you’ll be in some remote African village, sewing your own shoes.” He said, stalking off, but Harry grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, grinning.

“You’re not wrong Louis. Just very different from me.”

“I know.” Louis said eyes smilingly blue. They breathed softly, the crowd was scanty, and everything was peaceful. “Let’s go.”

As Louis walked away Harry shouted after him. “Do you really want six children? Well since you’ll have so many, you’re going to have them name a few Harry.”

“No thanks.”

-

Louis stared at the sun sinking into the clouds; the view below them of the town was stunning. Houses were simple and the grass was the greenest, it was so much easier than being in London.

“C’mon Louis, we’re going to miss that Light and Sound show.”

“But I’m tired Harry, you can’t do everything in one day.”

“I can” Harry scolded. “Look we only have so much left to do.” He said, pointing at the bottom of a list. Louis rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper, tossing it off the cliff where they were sitting.

“Hey!”

“Now we don’t!” Louis said mischievously. “Shut your mouth and sit down.”

“That’s what she said.” Harry muttered and begrudgingly sat, dangling his feet off the edge. “And what if we find out that the show was kickass?”

“It will be.” Louis said lightly, “but if we go for it, we’d miss this kickass sunset.” Louis looked at Harry, who was furrowing his eyebrows at the concept. “No matter how much you try, you’ll always miss out on something in life, so we should just enjoy the moment wherever we are.”

Harry stared at Louis’ his blue eyes reflecting the golden sun sinking into the pink sky. His gaze moved down to Louis’ lips, and how enticing they looked, and without realizing it he had moved closer in. Louis cleared his throat and looked forward at the sunset, a small and sad smile on his face.

-

“Three years ago, I was working for a trekking company. I had taken twenty four college kids for a trek. When I returned from the mountains, my London phone started working again. I had a hundred and fifty five voice messages, from my family, Zayn, Niall. Mum had passed away. She died on Monday, I heard about it on Saturday. They had had the memorial and funeral, everything.” Harry said, voice breaking a little. “We hadn’t spoken in a month. I hadn’t come to see her in three years. They kept telling me to visit. I should’ve listened. And now –“

Harry looked down at Louis’ hand gripping his, holding down his heart when everything else was spinning uncontrollably out of hand. Harry didn’t realise all the memories that he would have to face, coming back home. Louis head rested in the crook of Harry’s shoulder and he breathed slowly, nerves calming themselves with Louis’ touch.

-

Harry waved Louis goodbye, and walked back to the hotel room, shoes in hand. He saw Zayn putting down cards on a table and curling his lip as he lost a few hundred pounds. Harry came up behind him and took some notes out of his pocket, putting them on the table.

“Harry what are you doing.” Zayn sighed, trying to hand the money back.

“You play your game.” Harry said, pushing Zayn’s hand away.

Zayn rolled his eyes and kept playing, pulling open cards and putting out his own with the two people he was playing with. When the last person put out their cards Harry heard Zayn give a barely audible groan and look at Harry disgustedly.

“What?” Harry retorted, “Is this my fault too?”

-

“Zayn, d’you have socks?” Harry asked absentmindedly.

“What did you think that this was some kind of double jackpot? I was playing just fine.”

“It’s okay Zayn, what’s done is done.” Harry shrugged.

“No Harry.” Zayn chided. “Why don’t you get it, that’s your hard earned money? Save it.”

“Money is nothing; it was made to blow up, not to save.”

Zayn chuckled, throwing Harry a balled up pair of socks, “It’s not nothing to everyone.”

Harry smiled and began to walk out the door, and paused. “Double jackpot,” he mused. “The Las Vegas episode, where she put in twenty dollars, and won –“

“Two thousand.” Zayn chortled. “Your host is quite the babe.”

“You watched my show Zayn.” Harry said, jaw dropping a bit.

“How many episodes have you done? Forty? Watched them all.”

“So why were you being such a drama queen about it.”

“It’s your show Haz, how wouldn’t I watch it?” Zayn smiled cheekily. He walked out of the room and sat down to wear his shoes.

“Look I heard about your bar deal Zayn.” Harry said, biting his lip. “Man, everyone has bad phases. I have some money saved up. Use it to save your bar.”

Zayn sighed and looked at Harry, his best friend. “It’s too large an amount Harry.”

“How much?”

“Fifty thousand pounds.”

“Done.”

Zayn stood up and grabbed a bottle of whisky, pouring it into two glasses. “You can’t buy me with your money Haz, my friendship isn’t that cheap.” He said. “I don’t _want_ your money.”

“Then –“, Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What can I do?”

Zayn handed Harry a glass, “Drink with me.”

-

The strum of the guitar filled the lawn, the lights were twinkling overhead, and the beer was flowing warmly down Harry’s throat. His eyes absentmindedly followed Niall who was talking to Zayn, when Liam came and led her away. They went into a corner and began to have a heated discussion and Niall threw down his hat angrily and stomped away, needless to say, Harry followed.

He put an arm around Niall who gave a small yelp. “Why are you getting married?”

“Huh?” Niall said confusedly.

“I saw you there, you tried to talk to Zayn and Liam got jealous.” He noted. “You’re sure about this right?”

Niall turned to look at Harry, “Liam wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t talking to Zayn. I was trying to slap him. He’s spent two thousand pounds in two days. Half on drinks and half on poker. Liam’s just gone and paid the bill off. He was trying to stop me from killing Zayn.”

Harry scratched his head and smiled. “So you don’t love Zayn anymore?”

“You knew about that?”

“Everyone knew about that, except that idiot Zayn.”

Niall laughed. “Yeah man, I did. But y’know, Zayn was never in that relationship. It was just me, alone.” He said sadly. “And when I met Liam, when I met Liam everything was fine, I was fine, but then I realised that I was allowed to be happy too. Does that make any sense?” Niall said, looking up at Harry.

“I guess it does.”

“Sometimes, just spending time with people makes everything better.” Niall spoke, turning to face the crowd when Harry pushed him towards Liam, who was standing behind the both of them.

“Your hat.” He said, holding it out to Niall who giggled. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Niall said, pressing a kiss to his lips. And they walked away hand in hand, leaving Harry with a smile on his face. He grabbed two bottles of beer and left the garden, walking towards the lake where he knew Louis would be.

He saw Louis sitting on one of the paths between the water front, running his hands through the water.

“I’ve never seen something quite so exquisite.” A voice said, a man, walking towards Louis with two bottles. Louis smiled at him.

“Hi.”

Harry stood there in shock as the man turned around to spot him.

“Can I help you?”

“Who is this Louis?” Asked Harry, eyes blazing.

“This is Greg. He’s here to shoot the wedding.” Louis said uncomfortably.

“Oh.” Harry said. “Okay, now leave.” He said, gesturing at Greg.

“Harry.” Louis warned. “Stop.”

“Excuse me?”

“Please, leave. Now.” Harry said again, this time more violently.

“You’re very rude.” The man said making to sit down next to Louis.

“Look this is my best friend’s wedding. Nobody needs you here.”

“I think you’ve had a bit much to drink. Louis called me here.”

“And I’m Louis’ boyfriend. Now go.”

Louis’ eyes narrowed and he stood up. “Greg can you please leave for a few minutes, I’ll meet you in a bit.”

Greg shrugged and walked away, looking back at Harry suspiciously.

“You.” Louis accused. “You’re not my boyfriend.”

“So is he?” Harry questioned loudly.

“What’s happened to you Harry?” Louis said, exasperated.  “Go apologize, right _now_.”

“I’ll break his sorry excuse for a face.”

“Harry you’re crazy.” Louis shouted, walking away.

“ _Babe._ ” Harry realized. “He sent you those cheap messages didn’t he?”

“So what If he did?”

“Do you love him?”

Louis just looked at Harry, eyes red with the hint of tears.

“Do you love him?”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I thought I’m the only one you drink with!” Harry said, clenching a fist in his hair, he breathed in deeply and ordered Louis. “Now go and tell that twat to leave.”

“Why Harry?” Louis asked, shaking his head tiredly.

“Because I want you to spend all your time with me.”

Louis breathed out brokenly, looking at Harry with something almost like insanity in his eyes. “I was sitting with Greg because I can’t stand to be with you! He’s my friend.”

“Not your boyfriend?”

“ _No!_ ” Louis shouted. “Please stop this, why won’t you understand that if I spend two more minutes I’ll –“ Louis voice broke off, and he pressed two fingers two his mouth, hands shaking.

“You’ll what Louis?”

“I’ll fall in love with you.” Louis sobbed. “Again.”

Harry’s fists loosened.

“And you won’t love me back.” Louis whispered. “Again.”

Harry walked forward and pressed his lips to Louis’ roughly. Louis gasped and allowed Harry to push him against the pillar and curled his fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck. He felt like he was on fire, as if Harry was touching every inch of skin on his body and leaving a fire trail with every stroke. He licked at Harry’s lower lip and was allowed entrance immediately; he ran his tongue along the roof of Harry’s mouth eliciting a moan at the sensation. Slowly the kiss began losing its initial heat and it became slow and passionate. Harry ran his hands down Louis’ arms and entwined their fingers, he pulled away for a breath and pressed a kiss to the corner of Louis’ mouth, smiling.

“Well that was –“

“I know.”

They walked back to the party hand in hand, and Harry spun Louis around until they were swaying to the music in the crowd of the other couples. Louis looked up at Harry, opening his mouth to speak but was cut off.

“I love you.”

“Really?”

“I love you.”

Louis smiled, and buried his face in Harry’s chest, “I love you too. But it just happens to be that ‘I love you’ is just the beginning. But then what happens Harry?” Louis asked, sighing.

“What happens then?”

“Those two people can’t handle the words, and they begin to break.”

Harry jut squeezed Louis tighter and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I think you should let me go Harry.”

“Never.” Harry said, voice shaking.

“Please?”

“No.”

“I’m too simple for you Harry. You’re not wrong, just very different from me.”

Harry just stared into Louis’ eyes, revelling in the moment, unable to let go.

“Please let me go Harry.”

“I can’t let you go. I can’t.”

“Then don’t go to Paris.” Louis cried softly in Harry’s ear. “Don’t take this job that you’ve been dreaming of for years. Because I can’t go with you. Mum, dad, the clinic everything is here, home. What do we do?” Harry was silent, a tear creeping gently out of his eye. “Okay tell you what, you have to come meet me twice a year. And nothing with fit Paris women, or men. And after a few years, you have to shift here.”

“Louis I –“

“Hush.” Louis said throwing his arms tighter around Harry, “I know Haz, and I understand you. I know what this life is to you, what you want from your own life. This is why we need to forget about each other, goodbye Harry.”

“Don’t go Louis. This feels nice here.”

“That’s why I have to go.”

“Five minutes.” Harry said, but Louis was already loosening his grip and pulling away. “Please,” Harry begged desperately, “Please, five seconds.”

But had already gone, and Harry was grabbing at air.

-

The wedding ceremony was beautiful, the aisle was red and sprinkled with rose petals, and the ceiling was made of twinkling fairy lights that brought the stars closer to earth. Liam almost cried at the altar, Louis gave Niall away and Zayn and Harry were best men. When they kissed the crowd erupted in cheers and Liam surprised Niall with a limousine right after the ceremony. Niall hugged Zayn first, and they both knew that all was forgiven. Niall had forgiven Zayn for the years of hurt and ignorance. Zayn had thanked Niall for all the years of unwavering loyalty. They exchanged it all in less than a few words. When Niall bade his farewell to Harry, he knew that nothing could ever come between them, definitely not eight years of absence because Niall had always been a brother to Harry, and brothers stick together. (“I love you Niall, be happy.” “I love you too; I wish I knew how to make you happy.” “Call me when you get there.” “And every day after that”)

Louis said goodbye to Niall with a few tears sparkling in his eye, but they were mostly because Harry was standing miles away and looking completely numb, and Louis couldn’t handle Harry looking numb. Harry, the boy who felt everything so clearly, he allowed every emotion every feeling to strike at his core with such strength as to knock him to the ground. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and every single emotion that affected it. Anger, happiness, sadness. Love. Whatever he did, he did with a passion, and Louis couldn’t stand to see that passion burnt out in his eyes. So he turned away, and let his tears fall to the ground tiredly.

-

As Harry sat in the airport, he remembered the first time he left. The first time he left comforts of home for a new city, and new place for his thirsty eyes. He could almost see himself, flipping through Chicago catalogues. If only he could tell himself, if only he could tell himself to slow down. If only he could tell himself not to get attached to dreams, because one day they would get in the way of the bigger picture.

But it was too late. Time doesn’t wait for anyone.

The flight announcements blared through the airport, and Harry heard his flight beginning to board. But he couldn’t go. He couldn’t leave, not again.

-

Home is where the heart is they say. If that’s true, then Harry never truly had his heart with him. Because from the moment he stepped into his house, he realized it wasn’t really a house. It was home. The emotions overwhelmed him as he ran his fingers along the cabinets, and the picture frames and the mother’s armchair, where she used to stay up all night, waiting for him to get home. It all smelt the same, like cinnamon and a distinct smell of _home_.

_Remember one thing love, no matter where life takes you and no matter what happens, I’ll always be with you._

Harry slumped down in the armchair, and let it out. The anger and the pain. His sobs were loud and deep, filled with the agony of his heart. It was working so slowly, each beat drawing out the hurt that was filling his chest. Harry felt an arm curl around him from behind and hug him tight and he hugged back, because he had learnt one thing, family isn’t something to take for granted.

-

“I’m tired…of running. I never respected time, and now mum’s gone.” Harry’s voice was deep, and hoarse, dead as were his eyes. His whole body was running on auto pilot, his batteries were dying, one cell at a time.  “I wish I could have told her, how much I loved her.”

“Harry, what was the only thing in this world that made your mother happy?” Robin asked, “Not me, not your father, not her work. Just you. And you know why?” he said, taking one of Harry’s hands, “because you never stopped chasing your dreams. You lived your life, on your own terms. She knew the strength it takes to carve out your own path in life, and she was proud of you for having that strength. If you really want to tell your mother, how much you love her. Live your dream. Listen to your heart. She’ll understand.”

“Thank you.” Harry said softly.

“Everything will be okay.”

“Everything except this lemonade.” Harry grinned, “It’s still horrible.” He said, taking another sip.

-

Louis heard the doorbell ring and frowned, as he folded his suit. He walked to the door and opened it, peering outside to reveal Harry with two balloons and a cake box in hand. “Hi.” He said, “Hold this.” He handed the balloons to Louis and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. Walking in freely, he pulled a wine bottle out of his blazer pocket and smiled at a surprised-would-be-an-understatement Louis.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s new years, and I wanted to spend it with you.” Harry kissed Louis again, unable to get enough.

“But, Paris –“

“Cancelled.” Harry pulled the cork out and poured the red liquid into two glasses.

“Why?” Louis asked, nonplussed.

“Didn’t want to take the risk, what if some other hot lad whisked you away?”

Louis smiled to himself, “Seriously? You’re not going?”

“I refused their offer.” Harry grinned, dimple peeking out. “So I could take you up on yours. Should we make the lighting a bit more romantic?” Harry turned the lights off and set the dimmer at the lowest setting. He turned to see a tear drop off Louis’ cheek and stopped. “What’s wrong? Are you afraid of the dark?”

Louis slumped down in a chair, “I love you.”

“Great.” Harry smiled. “Here eat some cake.” He said, putting a piece in Louis’ grinning mouth.

“That job was your dream wasn’t it?” Louis said as he chewed.

“It was. But there’s a time for everything, and right now, it’s time for this.” Harry said, holding out a small blue velvet box. Louis jaw dropped as he opened it to reveal a small brown chocolate wrapper. Louis pursed his lips in disapproval and threw the box back, shaking his head in amusement and getting up.

“Louis.” Harry said, grabbing his hand and sliding on a silver ring. “Will you marry me?”

“Harry you –this is fake.” Louis said, holding up his hand.

“But my love is real baby!” Harry said, looking offended. His features softened into a smile, “Sorry, I didn’t have much time.”

Louis looked utterly torn as he walked further into the balcony, Harry following. “Harry you –you’ll run away.”

“So you can catch me.” Harry pointed out.

“So you’ll really run away?” Louis panicked.

“I won’t go anywhere, god, at least give it a try!” Harry persuaded.

“Try? You can’t _try_ marriage. Once it’s done… boiled veggies for fifty years till you die.” Louis said. He clicked his fingers and pointed at Harry. “Do you have the determination?”

“Why are you scaring me man?” Harry said taking a step back, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re scared already? This is not your cup of tea.”

“Okay.” Harry agreed. “I’m leaving.”

“Harry!”

“Will you marry me or not.” Harry accused.

“Why do you want to marry me?”

“Because I’m fucking stuck with you Louis.” Harry said, flailing his arms. “You’ve bloody trapped me god knows where. Look Louis, I still have my dreams, I want to see the corners of the world, but holding your hand. I won’t settle for less.”

Louis gave a watery grin, and touched Harry’s fingers with his own.

“Look time doesn’t wait for anyone, and before it leaves me completely stranded, I want to spend some of it with you. You make me happy Louis. Now in my head I’m already married to you.” Harry warned. “You better catch up.”

There was silence and Louis looked up at the sky, trying to sniff away the tears in his eyes.

“I’ve never given such a long speech, the least you could do is clap –“

But Louis had thrown his arms around Harry, holding on so tight and crying freely into his shirt, “Yes, oh my god, Yes!”

Harry grinned and hugged back just as fiercely, pressing kisses to his bare shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Five seconds to the new year.” Harry whispered.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

“Happy new years.” Louis giggled into Harry’s mouth. When they turned around their faces glowed in the light of fireworks in the sky. There were still about five million things that were uncertain, but LouisandHarry were not one of them. And really, that was all that mattered.

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was basically all based on this bollywood movie I saw, don't kill me I just thought Louis and Harry would be interesting in the role


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